maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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