as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Is Oprah even human
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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