weddingsv make me drug and hornr
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I think my moral compass just broke
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize