Porn is love you can see.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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