I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.