How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision