Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(337): View more from Louisiana

im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...

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(703): View more from Virginia

i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(580): View more from Oklahoma

I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.

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(419): View more from Ohio

Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.

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(210): View more from Texas

yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."

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(360): View more from Washington

ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.

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