So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
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The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
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I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations