it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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