I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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