fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
