i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
