I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
