community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Sorry about my life...
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
