i need an iv and a liver transplant
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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