So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
