I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
