I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
