You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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