For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
