So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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