ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
