Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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