If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize