Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
