Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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