Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
