just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
