There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
