i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
