hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize