My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
We are all done wearing pants today
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize