this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize