32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize