One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Let's get the cat blown out
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
