after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
