Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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