Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. ðŸ˜
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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