My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
