Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
