we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
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Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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