I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
