How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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