my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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