NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my poor anus
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize