Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
