So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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