dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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