You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
