She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
