Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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