so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
