Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
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