I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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