Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
