I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
