Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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