For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
