We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
