Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
