I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize