whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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