you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
