i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
