Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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