I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
